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In one phrase: The upload was great again! Reason enough for a discussion between Steve, Rosanne and me. Both Steve and Rosanne had have the same upload already. It was about the boat tour from Mark Seward, the anesthetist who is always helping with the uploads.

He is a kind of a spare hand during those sessions. During the review of an upload with dr. Hamilton, he is never there. That is a good thing! He must have had a very risqué life and perhaps he still has. In the beginning, the whole story was boring with the over aged people on the boat. However, in the end it was very exciting. One of the dancing girls jumped off the stage en reached for me. She tempted me and I gave her some money. We went down, to the inside of the boat and found a little cabin. In the cabin were only a bed and a very big mirror. She put off her clothes and her feather shawl and wrapped the thing around me. In fact, she tied me up with it. – One thing I want to put straight, this is the upload, it is not my story but Steward’s – It seems like it embarrasses me. However, in a way it gave me pleasure.

Both Rosanne and Steve had different versions of this story. When we found out, we decided to write down our views on paper, so we could clearly see the differences. Rosanne had not seen the big bird and her story ended like Steve’s; on the upper deck of the boat. My story ended lying satisfied in bed. We found one big similarity in our memories. It was nothing more than the cold remembrance of a happening. Just that. There was no such thing as an emotional “feeling” that came back when we remembered the whole story, in compare with other memories that we had before.

After a lot of chit and chat, we came to one conclusion. There was reason to believe something was wrong with this memory. The whole story acted selective. Each one of us had their own special ingredients. We where puzzled. What was the cause of this selectivity? Was it Mark Steward’s strange mind, or ours that caused the differences? On the other hand, there could be something wrong with the equipment, maybe the whole system? We all felt betrayed in a way. It meant that all the uploads where not really true. Not pure. It meant all the memories where all depending on our interpretation. We concluded that here was a case for a psychologist. Rosanne said: “Next week Lucas will come over, he is one we can trust.” Maybe he can give us an explanation about what we found out. I have to ask him before he gets his implant. Otherwise, he may not be really objective anymore. You know how it works with the uploads. They make your opinion a bit cloudy.

find out how it was for Steve

find out how it was for Rosanne

The uploads are very addictive. I am sure about that. But, I want to be clear about one thing: the uploads must be real. I will not put up with less!This is the real upload-addict speaking. Next Friday I go for redeveloping and self reflection. All the weekend. While reading back the whole story, I realize the need. Jessica is totally out of site. This is my single-handed action. Maybe there is somebody who wants to accompany me to Crater Lake National Park?